Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Day 17 of #40Days - The Days Ahead

"The child deserves legal representation, Your Honor."

"You're asking me to spend more tax dollars without good cause."

The judge told me the home study was flawless.  Then, he ruled that Nathan would be turned over to his grandparents.

Outside the courtroom, I tried to tell Nathan's grandparents about their eleven-month-old grandson.  How we fed him, when he slept, and that he loved the backpack.  I could hardly speak because my emotions were getting in the way.

Nathan was our foster son.  We were bonded with this baby boy.  Soon after we got him, our case worker told us that we would be able to adopt him.  We had him since he was about one month old.  Now, our dreams were crushed.  We were crushed.

Jill stayed home with Daniel and Nathan that day while I went to court to ask the judge to assign a guardian ad litem.  It seemed only fair that he should have an attorney who was looking out for his best interest.  It was a conflict, in my opinion, to allow either the state's attorney or the family's attorney to represent him.  And all the judge had for me was, "spend more tax dollars."

I drove home to tell Jill.  Cell phones and text messaging weren't popular yet, and I didn't want to give her the bad news by phone anyway.

We were hurt, and not sure that we even wanted to continue fostering kids.

A few weeks later, another case worker, Sharon Smallwood, came by to check on us.  We unloaded on her.  We told her how we'd been lied to about adopting Nathan, and how the judge was unfair, how hurt we were.  But, she was sweet and took it all in.  She said she didn't blame us for feeling that way.  It helped a little.

We had no way of seeing where this painful experience would lead.  We weren't expecting it to lead any where at all.  But it did; it lead to Tucker.

In the days ahead, I hope to share with you how this painful experience marked the beginning of The Brasfield Nation.

Stay tuned to the 40 Day Project.

God Bless,

P.S.  By the way.  Nathan turned out okay, too.  Thank God.

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