Custom Cookbook and Green Bean Casserole

After Jill and I married in 1987, my mom made us a custom cookbook of my favorite recipes. She typed most if not all of them. Those pages are yellowing now. Over the years, Jill has added some in her own handwriting.

I've been trying to cook more lately and realized that I've forgotten about this cookbook, locating recipes online and saving them in my private storage. Preparing to cook Easter dinner tomorrow, I located this recipe for green bean casserole. It's one of Jill's all-time favorites. So I'm going to give it a go.

And I had the idea of saving these recipes here on the blog so anyone or everyone could enjoy them, especially those who would appreciate seeing my mom's handiwork.

Green Bean Casserole

Ingredients:

2 cans green beans

1 stick margarine

2 onions, chopped

1/3 lb. sharp cheddar cheese, grated

1 tube Ritz crackers

1 can cream of mushroom soup

Instructions:

Saute onion in margarine until tender. Drain. Save margarin. Cook beans until water is almost gone. Crumble crackers and mix in reserved margarine. (Save a few to sprinkle on top of casserole.) Mix onions, beans, soup, crackers and part of the cheese. Put in a casserole dish and top with remainder of cheese and crackers. Bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.

Credit:

"What's Cooking at Cook" Cookbook, Ruston, La.

My aunt Joanne Taylor must have shared the recipe with my mom. She was a member of Cook Baptist Church. 

UPDATE:

We prepared this for Easter 2018 and it was delicious. We probably cooked the onions just a little too long and they didn't give off much margarine when we drained them. It left the dish oily. But it tasted oh so good.

BEEF PATTY, DRILL SERGEANT!

It was lunch time on the rifle range when we were told to line up for chow in the summer of 1986 at Fort McClellan Alabama.

Yesterday my son, Sean, left for boot camp in the winter of 2014. He's headed to South Carolina. I doubt they'll get much snow there, but it surely won't be like an Alabama heat wave.

Sean joined the Army National Guard, like his late uncle Scott. I was about twelve years old when Scott came home from boot camp all lean and fit. He had stories that he told me about it. I was impressed with the six mile cross country run that he told me about.  At that age, I didn't really understand what cross country running was. I imagined it was something like Motocross racing on foot. In my mind, it was all back country trails with ditches to jump and trees to hurdle.

I was in the Army Reserves. On the rifle range our drill sergeant was handing out MREs.  That's Meals Ready to Eat, not my Jill's home cooking for sure. They are non perishable high calorie meals for soldiers on the go.  Some MREs were okay. Some were barely edible, like the beef patty. The beef patty was a freeze dried piece of mystery meat that was supposed to be softened by water from your personal canteen. It was actually more like a beef puck. Getting an MRE was like getting a lottery scratch off. You never really knew what you would get, unless you took a moment to read the camouflage on camouflage print which revealed the contents.

That day on the rifle range the drill sergeant was acting like a comedian.  I reckon she didn't get enough laughs watching the trainees learn to shoot M16 rifles at human-shaped silhouette targets. (Yes, "she"!  Female drill instructors can be just as mean and even uglier than males.) Many of the mostly seventeen year old split option high school recruits had never touched a firearm before. As each one passed by for their lunch, she would ask, "what's your favorite MRE, Private?", as if she was going to dig through the box to find that particular one. Most said "beef stew",  "spaghetti with meatballs" or one of the other edible selections. Then she would verify that the MRE in her hand was NOT the favorite before handing it to him with a smile.

My turn.  "What's your favorite, Brasfield?"

"BEEF PATTY, DRILL SERGEANT!"

She looked at the beef patty meal in her hand, placed it back it the box and gave me some thing else. No way was she going to give me my "favorite".

Sean, I love you and am proud of you.  I pray you have a safe journey.  You will do well in the National Guard.

Oorah!
Dad

PS.  Write and call your Momma.

Ankles, grands, printers, business, mowers and "blankie".

Saturday August 24, 2013

We got in bed late last night - around 2 a.m.  Jill fell on the stairs and hurt her ankle. She was in severe pain, so we went to the emergency room for some entertainment. You know, hurry up and wait, endless questions, x-rays, shots and a TV remote that barely changed channels. Poor thing sprained her ankle. I love her.

Drake spent the night with us so morning came with the typical Saturday scene of Levi waking Drake and demonstrating his inability to use his inside voice. No sleeping in.

Our school room printer was down, waiting for new print heads which I had ordered. I brought a spare printer from work but some how broke it in transport. Drake kept pushing buttons and spinning motors saying he was fixing the printer. I was tearing it down to see if the problem was simply mechanical last night when Jill fell.  It remained in pieces this morning. I reassembled it with no improvement. We headed off to work to get the print heads and return the broke printer.

The kids like going to my business, especially on the weekends when no one is working. They can make all the noise they want without interrupting anything. But more importantly, I open the drink machine and let them each get one. They also got a snack. Levi pointed out his drawing hanging on my office door. Tucker played with the TVBA (Tennessee Veterans Business Association) coin on my desk. It's a cool souvenir that I toss or spin when I'm on the phone.

When we got home I installed the print head which fixed the printer. Then I scanned the nearby computer for malware. That's when the lack of sleep set in. I went to my room and took a nap beside Jill who was resting her foot (and maybe her eye lids too). Mickey and Tilley took charge of the littles.

The lawn mower tire was flat again. I've been threatening for years to replace the tires on our John Deere and today was the day, for one of them. The hardware store sells lawn mower tires but they only had one in the size I needed. Good thing too. Tucker and Riley helped me get the old tire off the rim but we could not get the new one on. I took it to Discount Tire where they finished the job even though they were closed and didn't even charge me. Nice guys.

Riley lost the retaining clip that holds the wheel on the mower. We took the clip off the other wheel so we would know what to get and went back to the hardware store. They were closed already. We had to go to Home Depot. They had the replacement clip for only 61 cents. We had the new tire secured on the mower in no time.

Riley got right on the mower and got started. I was looking out the window to see how the new tire looked when I noticed the mower was scalping the lawn.  The mowing deck was set on 1 - the lowest setting.

At bedtime we couldn't find Drake's blankie. He was upset but settled down quickly enough.  The next morning, we found it in the laundry.

It was another good day in The Brasfield Nation.

God bless,
Dadofmykids

What if we could save more children?

With all the pro-gun and anti-gun talk lately, I am reminded of how many different ideas there are here in the USA.  Smart people on both sides have strongly held opinions backed up by facts and reasoning.  Could it be that where you stand on the issues has more to do with where you started than with facts or reasoning?  I don't know about that, but I acknowledge that my opinions have certainly been influenced by living in the South, growing up in conservative churches, and by reading and studying the Bible.

It seemed that everybody was shocked by the mass shooting at Sandy Hook, and I suppose that is reasonable and expected.  Now Potus and his staff have embarked on a crusade for the safety of our children.  Potus even had children with him at the press conference where he announced his 23 step plan.  Who in the world doesn't care about children?

If we really care about children, there are some things we should consider:

• Tennessee alone has hundreds of children in foster care waiting - wishing and praying - for permanent families.
• Over 3,000 babies are aborted every day in the USA.

What are we doing for these children?  Somehow, we have become de-sensitized to these facts - to these kids.  There is only so much that we can do, right?  Sure, but what if God calls you to do something?  What if that something only saves one child?  What if that something can help save thousands or even millions of children?  Is that too big a goal?  Not if God is truly in it. 

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”   Matthew 19:26 


If you are in a difficult situation because you are unexpectedly pregnant, you have options.  I am sure it seems overwhelming right now.  That's normal and reasonable.  You will be okay.  You can talk to my wife and me, or someone else you trust.  You will be happy you carried the baby to a full term healthy delivery.  You can keep the baby or arrange an adoption. 


Are you childless?  Wonder if you would qualify for adoption?  Not sure you could afford an adoption?  Not sure you could love someone else's child as much as you love your own?  Ask someone.  If you would be open to considering adoption if the hurdles weren't to high for you to get over, then contact your local Department of Children's Services.  I know it's nerve racking, but a phone call or email is just that.  You are allowed to ask questions before obligating yourself to something you are not ready for.

Adoption - Aug. 18, 1999

What if more women chose to carry their babies rather than abort them?

What if more people learned about adoption?

What if God is calling you? 

Pray for our nation.  Pray for our children.  Pray for personal direction.  Then listen for an answer.

If Jill and I can do anything for you, please contact us.  We love you all.

God bless,
Dadofmykids

The Day the Brasfield Nation was Born.

"Wake up, Jill.  We're getting married today."

She didn't have a house phone, and it was the days before cell phones, so I headed to her house.

We were planning to get married by the Justice of the Peace on December 23, 1987.  I was scheduled off work at both of my jobs.  But, the 22nd was to be a busy pre-wedding day, with a job interview followed by three jobs.  I had applied for a management position with Eckerd Drugs, which would be more appropriate for a family man.  After the interview, I would go to my job as Santa in the mall, then to my next job as a shoe salesman, and finally don the suit again at 10:00pm for a paid gig at a company Christmas party.

One phone call on the morning of December 22 changed our plans.  The big job interview was postponed to the 23rd, at the same time we were planning to go before the JP.  The only option, if we were to keep our decision to be wed over the Christmas school break, was to rush to the courthouse right then.

Since she didn't have a phone, I drove to little house which she shared with her cousin.  It was the same house we affectionately called "The Love Shack",  so you know what I think of every time I hear that song by the B52's.

We quickly rounded up some of our closest friends, including Jennifer Morton (Perkins) and the Bounds family, and caravanned to the Knox County Courthouse where the Justice of the Peace performed a most excellent little ceremony for us, Mr. and Mrs. Brasfield.  The Brasfield Nation was born. 

I was late for work that day.  My boss thought I was telling one when I said I had just gotten married.  The ring on my hand helped convince her.

I can't believe that was 25 years ago today.  I hope the next 25 years are as great as these.

Jill, I love you.  You were made just for me. 

Andy

Happy Memories of Baby Georgia

Today I want to share a few precious photos of Georgia Rose.  Today marks six years since she passed.

This first photo was taken the day we brought her home.  Jill wrapped her like a burrito in this home-made crochet blanket.  Who made the blanket?  I don't remember.  Doesn't she look sweet?

Homecoming was so exciting.  Here, Jilly shows off Georgia.  It was a great day for The Brasfield Nation.  We couldn't explain why Georgia brought us so much joy.  Maybe it was because we had come out of a dark period.  You can see the happiness on Jill's face.  There's not a mother on Earth that can take care of a baby better than my Jilly.

Look how little Levi was.  That's his Aunt Sandra holding his hand.  She rightfully wanted to keep him from touching too hard.

Here we are playing cards - probably Go Fish.  Or maybe it was Crazy Eights.  I like it better than Go Fish.  I think Jilly took this photo.  After Georgia died, I was thankful that we had held her so often.

This was also taken the first day.  A few days later, I shaved my beard because I thought my whiskers might be too rough on Georgia's face.  However, I quickly grew it back.

Today, I am able to see the happiness in memories of Georgia.  Other days, memories of her death over-ride.  Please say a prayer for Jilly and me, plus our whole family, today.

God Bless,
Dadofmykids

Day 40 of #40Days - Life, as it Happens.

Wow! Forty days is gone already?!?!  It went by so quickly.  I want to close the series by reviewing and summarizing a few things about my Forty Day Project.  I will point out something I learned, my favorite posts and yours, based on site traffic stats.  Then, I will compare the finished project with the goal or vision I had at the beginning.  That all sounds so analytic, but hopefully it will be fun.

Day 38 blew me away.  I was speechless because of the sweet things Jilly said in her second guest post of the series.  There's no doubt that our marriage is special and was ordained in Heaven.  If I had it to do all over again, I would.  My Jilly is amazingly awesome and I love her more than words can say.

Day 30 was a video blog entry or vlog.  I recorded it on the way to work one morning after Jill and I had been talking about childhood influences.  Ted Stolpe edited it for me and his work was wonderful.  I just asked to have something on the front and back of the video to ease it in and out.  Ted went way beyond that.  Thanks again, Ted.

After Day 1, which I linked to each daily post, Day 18 got the most hits.

The purpose of this series was to satisfy the calling I felt God was giving me to blog daily for forty days.  At this point, I feel it was completed, but it was certainly more than just writing forty posts.  Facing my fears of transparency and judgement has shown me that people are interested in what we've experienced; many of you said so.  Additionally, I learned that trying to do this or anything worthwhile by myself will lead to mistakes and to poor quality work.  When I asked for help, the result was way better than expected.  Jill helped me a lot with honest and constructive proofing and editing.

It was a lot of fun to look through old photos and videos.  Our kids looked at them too and asked a lot of questions about who what when and where.  It was great remembering some of the blessings I had forgotten and talking with Jill about stuff we've been through.

Thank you for participating by reading.  If you commented here, on Facebook, or on Twitter, thank you.  The encouragement was motivating.

This ends the intentional daily blogging, at least for a while.  Be on the lookout for life as it happens in The Brasfield Nation, here on Dadofmykids Blog.

God Bless,
Dadofmykids

This is # 40 of Forty Days, the last post of the series. Learn more here.

Day 39 of #40Days - The Chase

There for a while, phone calls from our birth mom were fairly common. Jill said she had given birth to our kids instead of having abortions, so she wanted to share pictures and keep in contact. At first, I didn't quite understand it, but now I see it as an example of Jill's compassion. She is the most compassionate person I've ever known.

Kaymie, one month old, courtesy of birth mom.

When Kaymie was born, the state didn't take her immediately; it was the same as Asher. It is confusing, since they took Riley at the hospital when he was newborn, but we heard that the new baby girl was born and staying with birth mom. We were concerned for Kaymie's health and safety based on the previous experiences. We prayed for her and wondered how she was doing.

After a few months, birth mom called and said she was having troubles with her marriage or something like that and asked us to take Kaymie for adoption. So we went to meet her at a Walmart parking lot. She never showed. We went looking for her, having a general idea of which neighborhood she lived in, we asked people to point us her way, but we didn't find her. We went home, without Kaymie.

This situation repeated itself one more time. We received the phone call asking us to take the baby girl. We went to get her, but no show. This time, the strangest thing happened. We were waiting at Walmart. I was standing outside the store; it was night time. Then birth mom walked directly by me to get a paper out of the paper box beside me, as if she didn't see me or know who I was. But I saw her and the chase was on.

After I said her name, she jumped back in the car her husband was driving and they took off. Jill and I followed. We hoped they would lead us to the baby, whom we didn't see in the car. They soon realized we were following and turned down some back roads increasing in speed. We gave chase thinking this could end badly, like something you'd see on tv, so we slowed down and found our way back to the highway. Again, we wondered where was the baby girl and was she ok.

It was then that Jill and I agreed that we would not go back there again unless it was official. A caseworker would have to call us, not the birth mom. The next call we got came from the birth dad. He was taking Kaymie to the Dept. of Human Services to hand her over. He and the birth mom had been arguing again, so he said he thought this was best for the baby. Still, we waited for the official call which indeed came. Our case worker asked us to drive up there, about an hour from our home, to pick up the baby.

On such short notice, Jill and I couldn't both go this time, so Jill went. When they got home, Kaymie was crying. She had cried all the way home and continued crying till bed time. At seven months old, she didn't recognize any of us. She must have been scared, and probably tired too.

The next morning, when Kaymie woke up, she was in a good mood, not crying. She looked like a different child. Jill had her decked out in a pink sleeper and Kaymie was so cute. I took her picture and printed a few to send with the kids to school so they could show their teachers and friends their baby sister.

Kaymie is a charmer; everybody likes her. She is a kind, helpful, beautiful, smart and athletic girl. We are very proud of her.

God Bless,
Dadofmykids

This is # 39 of Forty Days. Tomorrow is the last post of the series. Learn more here.

Day 38 of #40Days - Letter From Jill

In the final days of this series, Jilly asked me to let her post this:

Dear Andy,

I want you to know how proud and thankful I am to be your wife. You and I have been through a lot together, but it has only made us stronger as individuals, and as a couple. I have so many memories during our dark days that remind me just how much you love me:

• Sleeping on a cold, tile hospital floor while I was having a miscarriage.
• Standing by Dad's bedside with me as he was dying.
• Allowing me to spend so much time with Greg in his final few weeks of life.
• Lying awake countless nights with me while I cried over our precious Georgia Rose.
• Conspiring with Steven to make Christmas '09 one that I would never forget. And I could go on and on.....

When I was a little girl, all I really wanted to do when I grew up was to marry a really hot, awesome man and have lots of kids. That dream has come true! You are everything I hoped for in a husband and so much more. The world would be a better place if every man was as committed to their wife and kids as you are.

My daddy used to say, "I could have looked the world over and would have never found any man I liked any better to marry my baby." You are the only boyfriend I ever had who met Dad because you were the only one I felt was worthy. I knew he would love you and you and your accomplishments made him SO proud.

So, thank you for loving me despite my many, many screw-ups. Thank you for always being a rock I can lean on and for being my very best friend. Thank you for your commitment to your family. Words can't express my love for you. I am so thankful God chose you to be MINE!

I love you,
Jill

This is # 38 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 36 of #40Days - Highly Favored.

As I type these words, Tucker and Riley are watching our home video from Christmas 2004.  They are glued to the screen, laughing and commenting how little they were and how high pitched their voices were.  As I listen and see their reactions, it makes me happy that we have it.

I had a new camera at the time and enjoyed playing around with it.  As a result, I put together this way-too-long video.  Today, I serve it up as entry number 36.  A special prize goes to anyone who actually watches the whole thing.

The enormous amount of presents and toys may have been a sign of the turbulent times we were having.  Daniel was attending private school in Memphis that year.  Jill was faithful to visit him there and made it possible for him to have Christmas at home in spite of the bad weather conditions.  As I look back on this video, I feel that we may have been trying to somehow make it up to the kids.  We have scaled back since then.

I am thankful that we found so much joy anyway.  It was only by the grace of God.

Have I told you lately what an amazingly awesome wife I have?  She is able to not only care for our kids with so much love, but she does it often in face of the enemy, doing spiritual battle with one hand and teaching home-schoolers with the other.  Then she finds time to treat me like a king and make me feel like I am the one who hung the moon and stars.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing

and obtains favor from the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22

Thanks for tuning in.

God bless,
Dadofmykids

This is post # 36 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 32 of #40Days - Altered State of Consciousness.

Less than a year after Georgia died, Levi got sick with a stomach bug.  Most every parent has seen this in their children, right?  Jill and I did all the usual things to treat him, including increased fluids and a trip to the doctor.

However, he got worse.  He awoke the next morning very lethargic.  He wouldn't drink anything and seemed distant.  Jill said, "something's wrong," and took him back to the doctor who sent them straight to Children's Hospital.

The hospital staff determined that he was dehydrated and eventually gave him some apple juice, which he drank.  Then he got worse suddenly.  Jill called me to come up there.  I left the kids with Mickey, my mother in law.

I remember calling my mom and our pastor.  I told them both how scary this was for me, especially because of Georgia.  The pain from her death was still so strong.  It hurts to even type this paragraph.

Jill and Levi were in the emergency department when I got there.  Nurses swarmed around him.  One of them was explaining that Levi was in an altered state of consciousness.  He was limp and unable to communicate or make eye contact.  They didn't know why.

They took blood samples and found that his blood sugar level was dangerously low.  They gave him what looked like a shot of Karo Syrup and he immediately raised up.  It took a couple days for him to come out of it, but he made a full recovery.  The doctor told us that Levi came close to dying.

The picture above is Levi shortly after this.  I took it as a sign that he was okay.  Thank God.

 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!

His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 136

God bless,
Dadofmykids

This is post # 32 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 31 of #40Days - Guest Post by Jilly.

I am excited to present a guest post by my beautiful wife, Jill:

It was Christmas Day 2009, and the kids had just finished opening their gifts when Andy looked at me and said, “I don't have your present today, we have to drive to Nashville tomorrow to get it.”

I thought that was odd, but I didn't give it much thought. I assumed it was tickets to a show or dinner somewhere nice. In all honesty, I didn't care. Christmas 2009 was the worst Christmas of my life. Just one month earlier, I had laid in my daddy's hospital bed with him and watched him die. All I really wanted was for the whole holiday to just be over.

Steven and Jill.

Elvis, I mean Steven, at Sun Studios, Memphis TN.

The next day arrived and we got the kids ready and loaded up in Heapy (our huge, ugly, BROWN fifteen passenger van) and off we went. I will admit, my attitude was bad. WHY did we have to keep celebrating when I was just ready for it to be over (pity parties were a daily occurrence for a while)?

As we rolled on down the road, I spent time checking my social networking sites. I noticed that my “little brother” was very quiet and that was REALLY odd. Side note: I am an only child, but I have a few friends that I claim as my siblings. Steven, an online friend from Seattle, is the one I had chosen to be the little brother I always wanted, but never had.

Steven had shown great concern for Dad when he was sick, and has shown genuine compassion and love for us when Dad died. Unbeknownst to me, he and Andy had been plotting and planning a huge surprise for me.

As we got closer to Nashville, Steven's quietness on Facebook and Twitter began to make me wonder if we were going to Nashville to pick him up at the airport. I finally asked Andy, and he confirmed that we were. He began to tell me how this came to be. He said that Steven had been concerned about me after Dad's death and had decided to make a surprise trip to visit me hoping it would lift my spirits. I. WAS. FLOORED.! My first thoughts were how sweet it was for someone to do this for ME. I honestly couldn't remember if I had ever had anyone go to such lengths to just be able to love on me and minister to me. My next thought was OMG! I'd never met Steven in person; we had only spoken on the phone a time or two, and the rest of our communication had been online. Would it be weird? Would it be a week filled with awkward silence? All of a sudden, I became VERY nervous!

After a couple of delays, Steven's flight finally arrived. I was EXTREMELY excited and a little nervous as we watched and waited for him. Finally, there he was.......wearing his UT orange. I can honestly say there wasn't a single second of awkwardness. It was truly like we had known each other all of our lives!

We began talking non-stop almost immediately and it didn't seem like we stopped for nearly a week. We spent the week laughing, touring Memphis (Steven does a heck of an Elvis impersonation) and talking. It was a week without sadness and one that I will never forget.

Thank you, Steven, for giving so much of yourself to come all this way to support and love on me. I made memories that week that I will cherish for the rest of my life! I love you and I'm incredibly thankful that you're my little brother.

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times.......”

God bless,
Momofmykids

This is post # 31 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 26 of #40Days - Where is her face?!?!

We left Riley with a friend while we went to the hospital for Tilley's arrival.  I admit, it was kinda weird dropping off our little baby so we could go birth another one.

Tilley, first birthday.

Everything went well with Tilley's delivery.  From my perspective, it did.  Jill's epidural didn't work, so she felt the whole thing.

However something kinda strange happened while Jill was pushing.  Tilley's head was crowning.  Then she started to come out.  Her head was far enough out that I started looking for her face, but couldn't find it.  After a minute or so, I began to worry that she didn't have a face at all.  I mean what looked like plenty of hairline to me was out already.  Where is her face?!?!  Suddenly baby Tilley was out entirely, and yes, she had a face now.  Whew! 

After they cleaned Tilley up and gave her to Jill, I called my mom.  She asked me what Tilley looked like.  I said, "She looks like us."  She was a perfect blend of Jill and me, and our families.

Tilley was a crier from the start.  She cried nearly all night that first night in the hospital.  We got no rest at all.  She cried a lot.  For three months she cried and cried and cried.  Then, the day she turned three months old, she stopped crying, unless she had a good reason.  She was a different baby, a happy baby.

It's kinda strange, but colicky babies usually grow out of the frustrating behavior at three months of age.  If your baby is one of these, hang in there.  Be sure your pediatrician knows about all the crying.  You don't want to ignore it, in case something is hurting.  Then, be patient.  That is easy for me to say now.  But do your best to be patient.  In the scheme of things, three months isn't very long.

Later that year, Jill's gynecologist told me that Tilley was a miracle baby.  He said he had seen inside Jill's body during surgeries, and there was no way she could have carried a baby to term.

Jesus looked straight at them and said, 

"There are some things that people cannot do, 

but God can do anything."

Matt. 19:26

God bless,

Dadofmykids

This is post # 26 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 24 of #40Days - Right on time.

Have you ever heard the song, "He's an on time God"?

Jill told me about a house she saw for sale. She said it was in a nice neighborhood but was probably out of our price range. We had been talking about buying or building a house but agreed it would be better after the baby was born. I guess we thought moving would be easier or safer then.


We decided on "Tilley" and started calling her by her name pretty early. Most people refer to an unborn baby as "the baby". Then after it is born, they give it a name.  Tilley was Jill's maiden name.


It wouldn't hurt, we figured, to look at some houses just to have an idea of what we wanted. So I call the agent who listed the house Jill saw and set up to view a few houses.  The second house we viewed was the one that would be out of our price range.  We only looked at it to get ideas for when we might get serious about buying.  As we finished touring the house, we stepped out the front door.  That's when Jill said something I'll never forget:

"Whatever it takes, get me this house."

There is only one way to answer a statement like that.  "Okay."

Jill has a knack for hearing God when I don't.  I liked the house and all, but was content with the plan as it was.  I didn't know what God had in mind for us and why it was so urgent that we up-size before baby Tilley was born.  Of course, Jill didn't either.  But she was so impressed with the house; she could see us raising our kids there.

The real estate agent was very pleased with herself when we told her we wanted to make an offer.  But our house wasn't even on the market, and we were not able to afford two mortgage payments.  So the purchase of this house was contingent upon the sale of our old house.  As the Lord's timing is perfect, we had recently completed some upgrades and remodeling.  

Once we had a solid contract in place, we listed our house with the same agent, with an exception; my business partner had expressed interest in buying our house as an investment.  She put the "For Sale" sign in the yard.

Then the sellers received another offer which put us in the position of either backing down and letting the house go to another buyer or removing the contingency of selling our house.  We had 24 hours to make our move.  By this point, we were emotionally invested in the new home.  We were able to list all the reasons why we should move, not the least of which was the fact that our house was on a very busy four lane road.

I was frantically trying to figure this out, but as I look back on it, I realize that God was driving this thing: not me.  My partner bought our house right away, and we were back in the saddle.

Moving day was April 12, 1997.  Jill was 8 1/2 moths pregnant with legs swollen so big she could barely walk.  Family and friends came together to help us.  The whole weekend was full of unpacking and trying to find everything.  It was a crazy time for sure.

Then came Monday, and another phone call:

"We know you have your hands full, 

but we have to call you because 

Tucker has a new baby brother."

That's right.  Riley was born, unknown to us, the day after we moved in to the new house.  

This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; 

he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Psalm 18:30

God bless,
Dadofmykids

This is post # 24 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 23 of #40Days - "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!"

Jill asked me if I thought the pregnancy would be good.  I told her I had a positive feeling about it.  I am no psychic; but I felt good about this one.

I lost track of how many miscarriages we'd had.  I know she was afraid this could end the same way.  But this time was different.  Our baby itch was already being scratched by Tucker.  I hear a lot of people have a baby after adopting one.  Although Tucker's adoption hadn't been filed in court, we were satisfied that it would happen in time.

We used a high risk obstetrician and the pregnancy progressed pretty much as it should.  Jill watched everything she ate; took care to avoid smoke or other toxins; and didn't even take an aspirin.  She really took care of the baby. 

And let me tell you a thing or two about taking care of an in utero child.  I am a man, unable to speak from a woman's perspective, but listen up.  If your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, encourage her to see her doctor asap and often.  Take her.  Support her in eating healthy foods.  Support her emotionally by providing a decent, calm, loving environment.  Take care of your woman.  Talk to your baby through her belly. 

The consequences of in utero alcohol or drug abuse, physical or emotional abuse, or simply not seeing a doctor, last for a lifetime.  You want your kids to grow up smart, well behaved and fiscally responsible, don't you?  Well, it really  starts at conception. 

*End of rant about pre-natal care.*

Once we got past the first trimester, we breathed a sigh of relief.  We'd never been that far before.  And, we were having a girl.

We were out shopping one weekend.  Actually, Jill was shopping.  I was taxiing her from store to store, probably driving Tucker around while he napped in the car seat.  Jill got in the van with a shopping bag and said she had bought the first  dress for our baby.  When she pulled it out to show me the cute little red and white gingham dress with apples on the front, it hit me: 

"WE'RE HAVING A BABY!"

It was like my ah-ha moment.  Suddenly, I could visualize having a baby girl.

God bless,
Dadofmykids

This is post # 23 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 22 of #40Days - Can we love them?

I remember; I was at work when it started. Someone said, "A plane flew into one of the WTC towers in NYC."

There was a small tv in the production area. We gathered around it just in time to see another plane hit the other tower. I didn't know if this was real or some kind of staged thing, and certainly didn't know it was an attack on our nation.

Then the towers fell.

Unreal. How could this happen?

I called home to see if Jill was watching it and make sure she and the kids were okay.

For the next couple of days or so, everything slowed down; almost stopped. The major tv networks didn't show commercials or regular scheduled programs. We received few orders. It was like people weren't sure what to do.

I called my oldest brother, Scott. He was in Texas. He told me he was ready to put on his old National Guard uniform and defend our country, if needed. I know he meant it.

People started coming together in spirit. Churches opened up for prayer. I remember some of us from work went to a large church up the street during lunch to pray. There were lots of people there doing the same. The whole nation, it seemed, was pulling together like I had never seen.

May this date bring us together, stronger than ever.

But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! (Matthew 5:44 NLT)

God bless the victims and the survivors; and God bless America.

Dadofmykids.

This is # 22 of 40 Days. Learn more here.

Day 21 of #40Days - It turned pink.

We were a family of four: Me, Jill, Daniel and Tucker.  And, we were content.

Somehow, Sharon convinced us that Tucker wasn't going anywhere.  Maybe she did it by taking us to the court hearings regarding Tucker's foster placement.  That's where we first met his birth mom.  It seemed the judge knew her pretty well from previous cases.  Her family was not in a position to petition the court for Tucker like Nathan's family had done.

We were happy.

There was a convention for my industry in Vegas that year.  Mickey kept Daniel while Jill, Tucker and I went to it.  We were driving to the airport when Jill said she was late; I don't mean late for work.

What should we do?  Shouldn't we go to the drug store?

I suggested we wait till we get back from Vegas.  We could take a test after the trip, if nothing changed while we were gone.  Jill agreed.


(This is where you, the reader, imagine the plane taking off in Knoxville and then landing back in Knoxville four days later.)

And, nothing changed.

We stopped by the drug store.

Back home, the test strip turned pink.

:-)

We've kept that test strip fourteen years now.

God bless,
Dadofmykids

This is # 21 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 19 of #40Days - God smiled on us.

Did you ever own an answering machine?

Tucker.  Photo by Donna Weeks.

We had one.  Every time we would come home, we'd check the machine for messages.  Like today's email, we got a few "spam" callers, or telemarketers.  Bill collectors were either super sweet or downright nasty with their messages.  Only about 1/4 to 1/3 of the messages were really from people we wanted to hear.

Then there was the message from Sharon Smallwood, the caseworker who had listened to us gripe about losing Nathan.  "Jill, this is Sharon.  Give me a call."  It was Thursday before Good Friday.  So we couldn't return Sharon's call till Monday, because the DCS office would be closed for Easter.

We didn't know what she wanted.  But we were NOT expecting this; a baby boy, foster-to-adopt.

Could it be real this time?  Or, was this just another case worker pulling our chain?

The process of picking up a child from foster care can be very surreal.  We picked up Sharon and drove to the TN DCS office in Maynardville.  It was about an hour drive from home.  We had never been there.  So Sharon was giving directions.  Finally, she said, "There it is", pointing to the location.

Inside this little old building was a foster mother who was holding a baby boy that was to be ours.  We were led to a room in the back where they handed him over to Jill; five and a half weeks old, and beautiful.

I asked Sharon how she came to call us for Tucker.  "Isn't there some kind of waiting list?"  We hadn't been waiting very long, in my opinion.

Sharon said, "You were the first ones I thought of when I heard about him."  She told us how she'd told all the other case workers not to make any phone calls because she had a place for him.  I knew then that God had smiled on us.

Smile on me, your servant.
Have pity and rescue me.
Psalm 31:16

God bless,

Dadofmykids

This is day 19 of Forty Days.  Learn more here.

Day 17 of #40Days - The Days Ahead

"The child deserves legal representation, Your Honor."

"You're asking me to spend more tax dollars without good cause."

The judge told me the home study was flawless.  Then, he ruled that Nathan would be turned over to his grandparents.

Outside the courtroom, I tried to tell Nathan's grandparents about their eleven-month-old grandson.  How we fed him, when he slept, and that he loved the backpack.  I could hardly speak because my emotions were getting in the way.

Nathan was our foster son.  We were bonded with this baby boy.  Soon after we got him, our case worker told us that we would be able to adopt him.  We had him since he was about one month old.  Now, our dreams were crushed.  We were crushed.

Jill stayed home with Daniel and Nathan that day while I went to court to ask the judge to assign a guardian ad litem.  It seemed only fair that he should have an attorney who was looking out for his best interest.  It was a conflict, in my opinion, to allow either the state's attorney or the family's attorney to represent him.  And all the judge had for me was, "spend more tax dollars."

I drove home to tell Jill.  Cell phones and text messaging weren't popular yet, and I didn't want to give her the bad news by phone anyway.

We were hurt, and not sure that we even wanted to continue fostering kids.

A few weeks later, another case worker, Sharon Smallwood, came by to check on us.  We unloaded on her.  We told her how we'd been lied to about adopting Nathan, and how the judge was unfair, how hurt we were.  But, she was sweet and took it all in.  She said she didn't blame us for feeling that way.  It helped a little.

We had no way of seeing where this painful experience would lead.  We weren't expecting it to lead any where at all.  But it did; it lead to Tucker.

In the days ahead, I hope to share with you how this painful experience marked the beginning of The Brasfield Nation.

Stay tuned to the 40 Day Project.


God Bless,
Dadofmykids

P.S.  By the way.  Nathan turned out okay, too.  Thank God.

Day 16 of #40Days - "Silent Night, Deadly Night"

"Are you warm yet?"

"I'm okay", she answered.

I thought it was getting hot in my little Dodge Colt.  But I didn't want Jill to be cold.  It was, after all, only our first date.  November 2, 1986.

Our friend Nick Roberts was having some people over to his house after the Sunday evening service.  I asked Jill if she would "do me the honor of accompanying me".

Since the weather was cold, the car took a few minutes to heat up.  So, I asked again, "Are you warm yet?"

"I'm okay", again.

She must be cold-natured.

Nick asked us to help pick out a movie at the rental store.  Having no idea what to pick, we somehow decided on "Silent Night, Deadly Night".  Jill said she liked horror films.  It was rated R.  We assumed the rating was due to violence.  No big deal.

Beginning to sweat in the car, again I asked, "Are you warm yet?"

Jill, secretly sweating, "I'm okay."

Dang, this girl has some serious issues with being cold.


When it got to the point that I had a hard time breathing because it was SOOOO HOTTTT in the car, I finally turned the fan down to low.  Later, like after we'd been dating a while, I learned she was just trying to be polite, too.  We almost "polited" ourselves into heat stroke.

At the party, Nick put in the movie.  Picture a room full of holiness kids, watching a horror flick, with the lights dimmed.  FLASH! Boobs on the TV.

"Uh! Oh!"

"She picked out this movie!"

"We didn't know this would happen!"

As you can see, it was a first date that would never be forgotten.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22

God bless,

Dadofmykids

This is post # 16 of 40 Days.  Learn more here.