Still, I wonder.

I wonder what my Dad would be like if he was still living. He died when I was just 5 years old. I have only a few memories of him, mostly happy times, like fishing or beating him in a foot race (I really did think I had beat him fair and square.) or driving the car while sitting in his lap.

My dad, James Kenneth Brasfield, USAF,
sometime before 1957.

My dad was only 35 years old when he died. He was a veteran of the Korean War (aka Korean Conflict) having served in the US Air Force with rank of Airman Second Class. I understand that is equal to E-3 rank, which is same as mine in the Army. (I was Private First Class). My aunts told me he was never the same after the war. I believe he may have suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

He attempted to take his life on multiple occasions before succeeding on November 5, 1973. My mother was pregnant at the time with my baby brother, Jeff. My dad had been hospitalized for treatment associated with his suicidal attempts, making some ceramic items that I recall in the attic of my childhood home.

He is buried in Little Rock National Cemetery, Section 16, Site 506, in Little Rock, Arkansas. I remember the funeral, and the twenty-one gun salute at the grave side service.

My mom remarried when I was thirteen years old, to O'Neal Hardy from Memphis. I was uncertain how my life would change as we moved from N Little Rock, Ar. to Memphis TN a week after they married. I couldn't bring myself to call him "Dad", so I called him "Pop". He's a good man and taught me many things. I am thankful for him.

That move to Memphis seriously rocked my world, set me on a path that lead to where I am today. From Memphis, I came to Knoxville where I met Jilly. I wouldn't change a thing.

Today, I called Pop on the phone to wish him a happy Father's Day.

Still, I wonder...

Happy Father's Day 2015,
Dadofmykids

Father's Day

When my mom's boss showed up with my older brother to pick me up at the "baby sitter's", I was a little confused. At five years old, there was no way that I could have known why my mom wasn't the one.

That was the day my dad died.

The next seven years, my older brothers were the "men of the house". Don't pity me though. As much as I missed my dad, his death and absence from my life helped shape me. I am not happy in the least about his death. But I am ok with it now.

I also see how it lead to many good things in my life. If my dad hadn't died, I would have never met Jill, my wife. If I had never met Jill, I would not have my wonderful family. There would be no Tilley, our biological daughter. We would not have adopted our other kids. Where would they be today, if my dad hadn't died?

Seven years later, my mom remarried. It took me a while to really understand what a great man my new "dad" was. At the age of thirteen, I was not comfortable calling him dad. So I started calling him "Pop", like Lamont called his dad on "Sanford and Son".



Over time, "Pop" set a great example for me in many ways. I owe him a lot for where I am today. 

I have a wonderful and beautiful family.  Today is a good day to be the father of The Brasfield Nation.

God bless,
Dadofmykids.

PS.  I just got an Amazon Link.  Use it to support The Brasfield Nation.  Thanks.

Happy Fathers Day! I have something to say to my fellow Dads out there.

If you do these three things consistently, you'll be a great Dad:

1. Love God.
2. Love the mother of your children.
3. Love your kids like they are you.

This is simple but not always easy. Sometimes things come up that will get in the way of love or will interfere with love. But don't panic. It happens to all dads. If you come back to these three steps, you will be OK.

Step one: Love God
This step is not for sissies. Be a man in front of your kids. Show them what it looks like when a man follows Christ. He gave us the whole Bible to figure out how to do this Love Thing. So read it. Or listen to it. Study it. It's about a relationship with God that will be obvious in your life. Your kids should he able to see this without hearing it from you.

Step two: Love their mother.
A good relationship between both parents makes all the difference in the world for a kid. I know how easy it is to screw up, but hang in there. I always think of you guys who are divorced when I talk about this step. It is important for you also to show your kids how to love and respect their mother. All of us should remember the kids are always watching how we treat our wives. Let them see some affection. Hug her in the kitchen until some one yells "Get a room". It's good for the kids to see that.

Step three: Love your kids.
This one comes in handy on those days when one of my kids breaks something or loses one of my important tools or does something that really aggravates me. That's when I remind myself of all the stuff I broke or lost when I was a kid. Try to think like one of your kids.  Do you feel like your dad made some big mistakes here?  Then try to be different from him with your own kids.  Guys, be there with your kids. Spend time with them. Lots of time. Nothing can replace time. And nothing is more valuable to your kids than time.

These three basic things should be the foundation of your fathering. If you keep these principles alive in your life, then you will be a great dad with awesome kids.

God bless,
Dadofmykids