Day 6 of #40Days - Guilt by Association

My mom and my brothers all told me I shouldn't play with Bubba.  "He's bad news," they said.

But I wanted to prove that I wouldn't be influenced by Bubba.  In fact, I thought, I might be a good influence on him.

Bubba and I rode our bikes all over North Shore subdivision.  His grandma lived just outside the boundary of my permissible travels, across Lynch Drive.  He wanted to go visit her, so I went along.  She seemed nice enough to me, a ten year old boy who'd rather be outside playing.  As we left, Bubba seemed in a hurry.  He had gone in his grandma's coins and taken several of them.

Back at my house, we inventoried the stash.  They were mostly old collectible coins.  Silver dollars.  Half dollars.  He told me she'd given them to him.  I knew he was lying because I was there.  There'd been no mention of money or coins.  But I went along, after telling him he should return them.  We went to the nearby drive-in and bought ice cream.  The lady questioned why we were spending such coins, but we insisted she take them.

My ability to influence Bubba was not as great as I thought.

On another occasion, Bubba's bike was broken or something.  He rode on back of mine while I pedaled.  No big deal.  But when we passed Gary's house, Bubba jumped off.  Gary had left his motorcycle bicycle in his yard.  It was a sweet bike.  It had a gas tank, throttle and hand brakes - even made motorcycle sounds.  Bubba got on Gary's bike and pedaled as fast as he could.  The whole time, I yelled at him, telling him he couldn't take it.

But I followed him anyway.

When we got to the woods, where no one could see, Bubba stopped and celebrated.  My continued pleading to return the bike was ignored.  Now, he explained, we needed to change the bike's appearance, so it couldn't be recognized.  Bubba tore off all the fancy motorcycle accessories.  All that was left was a plain bike.  It was really sad.

That's when I realized my mom and my brothers were right.  I left Bubba.

It wasn't long till the cops showed up at my house.  I had been seen with Bubba, so I was guilty by association.  When I told them what happened, they went looking for him.

Poor Gary.  He was heartbroken.

Although I haven't given this much detail before, I have told this story to my kids in hopes they could learn from my experience.  I've told it or referred to it many times.  Nowadays, all I have to say is "Bubba" for them to know what I'm saying.


"He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will be destroyed." Proverbs 13:20

That's Day 6 of The Forty Day Project.

God Bless,
Dadofmykids

Day 5 of #40Days. That smell.

A few years ago, we noticed a foul smell.  We thought Asher had a sinus infection.  His breath was horrible.  Then Kk got the same odor. 

Asher and Kk in 2006.

It was weird.  So, to the doctor we went with both of them.  We have a great pediatrician, Dr. Cameron Blevins.  When he looked in Asher's nose, he laughed and reached for some tweezers.

He pulled out a sponge!!!

Then, he did the same with Kk.

They had apparently played with one of my car-wash sponges and torn off a couple pieces when no one was looking.  Yep, they put the sponges up their noses.  After a while, of course, mucus collected in the sponges and turned sour.

Today a friend told about his child's nasal treasure.  With a sneeze, a raisin flew out.  They had raisins with breakfast a couple days ago.

It's funny what little kids will do.  But remembering funny little stories like this is joy.  The joy of parenthood.

Psalm 127:3
   Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
      the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
   Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
      are the children of a vigorous youth.
   Oh, how blessed are you parents,
      with your quivers full of children!
   Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
      you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.

That's day #5 of 40 Days.

God Bless,
Dadofmykids

Day 4 of #40Days: A Letter to my grandchildren.

Dear Grandchild,

I've been thinking about you lately. There are some things I want to tell you so you can be happy and content.

I love you dearly, even though we haven't met. You'll learn that love is timeless.

I long to see you, but only when the time is right. Your time will come and it should be when your mom and dad are mature enough to take care of you. Even if they rush your arrival, I, along with your Mumzie, will be here for you.

You are a Brasfield. There is a one in four chance that your last name is not Brasfield. But you are still from a family that holds our Creator in highest regard, and understands that what we do each day impacts our family's future. You have lots of aunts, uncles and probably cousins you can watch to see examples of good people. Stay close to your family, especially when times are tough.

You will have good times and bad times. Just as sure as the bad times will come, they will also leave, to be replaced with periods of happy contentment. Never let the bad times take you so low that you forget good times will return. Don't ever let the good times take you so high that you forget about God and family. You will need both again.

Follow Christ will all your heart. He didn't give you a rule book so He could penalize you when you mess up. Instead, He wrote you a love letter, to show you how to continue pursuing life even in the face of death. Read it and listen to what He says to you. You'll be happy you did.

Be faithful to your family, to your friends and to the Lord. Be ready for the world to try and interfere with your relationships. Be determined. You can do it.

Be very careful whom you choose as friends. The right friends can help you follow the path to good things, but the wrong friends can lead you to misery. Ask your parents about Bubba D. and about the bad influence he was to me.

Learn from the successes and failures of others.

Be a good worker, doing everything as if the Lord himself is your boss or your customer. Be content with a modest lifestyle and don't chase after easy money.

I pray your life will be full of love, happiness and contentment.

Let's go fishing.

I love you,

Grandpa

Proverbs 17:6  Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
   and the glory of children is their fathers.

PS. The picture above is of your Mumzie and me in 2008.

PPS.  I originally wrote this letter in 2009, but wasn't ready to publish it then.  It is now 2011 and our first little grandson, Drake, has arrived.  Drake, this letter is for you and for what I pray will be many more grandchildren.

This is post # 4 of 40.  Learn more here.

Day 3 of #40Days: Footloose

I am not a Footloose virgin any more.

In 1984, many of you saw a movie that became a cultural icon of the 80's.  But I didn't see it.  In fact, the only movies I saw in those years, were likely on TV.  No way would I have been seen buying a movie ticket or sitting in a theater.

It was against my religion.  Kinda like in the movie Footloose, where dancing was outlawed.

Honestly, I thought the men's fashion of the day, pink shirts and jazz oxford shoes, was sin and corruption creeping into the Church.  Really.  That's what I thought.

What is this?  27 years later?  And now, I feel just fine watching that movie.  But it was the first time I'd seen it.  I just watched it with my Jilly.

The story was about religious oppression in a small town.  After a fatal teenage car wreck, the town counsel, including the hell-fire and brim-stone preacher, outlawed dancing, among other things like alcohol.  But, like me, the preacher was shown how wrong he was.

Compassion won.

In my teen years, I became rooted in doctrine that said that almost everything young people like to do is sin.  The Bible does in fact teach against drunkenness, fornication, hatred and other things.  My church took that to extremes like the preacher in Footloose.

As I look back on my high school days, when I carried a Bible to school every day and was more interested in putting down evil than I was in lifting up people, I wonder if I did more harm than good.  I've heard from some of my former classmates.  Most of them remember me as a positive influence, they say. 

I remember myself as a judgemental person.  Too heavenly minded to be any earthly good.  But I have changed.

Look up.  God is more interested in seeing us live life to the fullest than he is in forbidding us from things we enjoy.  That doesn't give us a free ticket to abandon prudence.  But it should leave us spiritually Footloose.

God bless,
Dadofmykids.

PS.  This is post #3 of 40.  Learn more here.

Day 2 of #40Days - Some people will get a miracle.

"You have five kids?"  He asked.

"Well, actually six.  There's one in the girls' restroom."

"I have a daughter about the same age as that one," pointing to Tilley.

I began to feel a little creepy.  Maybe he wanted money or something.  But I was wrong.  We ended up talking for several minutes with kids buzzing around us.  Good thing the posters were nearby to keep some of them occupied.

He told me about his daughter, Ellen, who had been involved in a car crash.  Ellen was admitted to Children's Hospital for her injuries.  She was hurt pretty badly, with loss of motor skills and possible brain injury.  We talked about God and what He might be saying to Ellen's dad through this tragedy.

We had never met her, but we couldn't get this little girl and her family off our minds.  We wanted to offer her some love and prayers.  Jill and I went to visit Ellen in the hospital.  She was at physical therapy, but her aunt insisted on taking us to see her.  She was not having a good day when we looked in on the PT session.  So we didn't interrupt.  We left the hospital without ever meeting Ellen.

She reminded me so much of my niece, Falon.  Falon had been hit by a car at the age of three.  The accident caused damage to her head and neck.  She wore a halo for a long time.  Life became a battle for Falon.  She ended it with a handful of pills.

Some time went by.  Maybe a year.  I don't know.

Then there was a service call at an elementary school in Kingston.  I got to the school and located the fax machine in the office, just in time for "Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance."  After the pledge, the announcer read off the day's birthdays with instructions for the students to report to the office for birthday gifts.  As the names were called and I returned my focus to the fax machine.  Then I heard Ellen's name.

How many girls could there be with that name?


Will she be in a wheel chair?  Or maybe on crutches?

As the birthday kids filed into the office, I kept a curious eye on them.  Then Ellen came walking through the office.  Smiling and almost skipping.  Perfectly normal and healthy.  I was so excited, I blurted out, "Do y'all know who that is?!  Do you know what happened to her?!"

I was able to pull aside one of the office staff who said she indeed was aware of Ellen's previous condition.  She told me how the teachers, staff and students of the school had prayed for Ellen.  And God answered by healing her.

I still don't know why God heals some people but not others.  He healed my Jilly in an instant, after years of praying.  Some people say you need faith.  Well, I have faith, but that doesn't guarantee everybody I pray for will get a miracle.

But some people will get a miracle.

God Bless,
Dadofmykids.

PS.  This is post # 2 of 40.  Learn more here.

The Forty Day Project: Day 1 of #40Days

• After Noah got all the animals on the boat, it rained forty days.
• Moses was on the mountain forty days and got the Ten Commandments.
• The Israelites spied out Canaan Land forty days.
• Goliath verbally abused Israel's soldiers forty days.
• Jesus fasted forty days.
• After the resurrection, Jesus remained with his disciples forty days.  Then he ascended.

I don't expect rain, stone tablets, the promised land, a dead giant,  to be offered the whole world.  But I could handle some time with Jesus.

Let me explain The Forty Day Project.

Sometimes, when God speaks, he makes himself clear.  No question.  Other times, he drops hints; makes suggestions, like a sign over a business you pass every day on the way to work.  You learn the name of the business, but if the name doesn't include what they do, you really don't have a full understanding.  You don't have much info.

I've been passing a sign.  It's a neon sign that flashes "Forty Days".  I think God put the sign there.  I've slowed down to get a better view of the sign and its surroundings.  The building beneath it looks like a blog.  My blog.  But the timeline is out of order.  I see my children and grandchildren reading my blog.  Studying the pictures and videos to see where they got their own physical characteristics.  Drake got his smile from his dad, Daniel.  Kk's little girl has long curly hair and plays the piano, just like her mom did at that age.

Then the time line skips back to 2011.  There's another dad, someone I've never met, looking at my blog posts.  He has a lot in common with me.  And he finds it re-assuring that he's not alone.  There's a young Christian believer there, too.  She wants to know what it was like for Jilly and me to go through the same junk she's going through.  She wants to know if she's gonna come out the other side and be ok.

This is how The Forty Day Project was born.  I may abbreviate it "40 Days".  At this point I still don't know what the end result will look like.  I think God is urging me to trust Him for it.

Let me speak about my fears and objections for a minute.  I'm afraid that I might blog for self gratification, or for recognition.  I still don't know if I'll even go public with this idea.  Just like anybody else, I only have so many hours in a day.  So I don't know if 40 Days will be worth the time it may take away from my family or my business.  I don't know for sure if I have created this vision in my own mind or if God really did give it to me.

But faith may overcome my fears and objections. 

I want to simply do two things:

1. To love God.
2. To love my fellow man as I love myself.

Will "40 Days" help me do these two things?  I think it could.  If I am able to keep the focus away from me and on God and my readers.  Again, my readers may include my family, my descendants, my friends, fellow believers and non-believers. You are already one of my readers.

Who are you?  Please comment on this post, regardless of when you found "40 Days".  Let me know something about you.  Do you need anything? Encouragement? Prayer? Hope?  Anything that I have the ability and time to give?

That's Day One.  Thirty nine more to go.  Who's with me?

God bless,
Dadofmykids

Something new is coming soon to my blog. #40Days

Happy Birthday Jilly!!!

The whole family is excited about your birthday.  Dinner and treats, followed by Shakespeare on  Market Square.  Fun for all!

I wanted to wish you the very best and happiest birthday of all. 

I love you, Jilly.

Andy

"I would to God you'd just BE Apostolic."

It was Super Sunday, the one time each quarter that all the Sunday school classes came together for a youth service. I led worship at the piano. Bro. Gino preached.

This day would become a turning point for me. Jilly, my wife, was already praying for a change. I was unsure.

Bro. Gino called out a young man who had taken a "stand for the faith". The young man had refused to wear basketball shorts on his college team. He wore warm up pants as a statement of his commitment to the Apostolic faith.  Gino pointed to him as a good example. For those who compromised by wearing shorts or in any other way falling short of the standards of the faith, he exclaimed, "I would to God you'd just BE Apostolic."

I felt as if I was squirming in my seat because I'd been wearing swimming trunks the day before.  At that time, The Brasfield Nation had a boat and a camper on the lake. Naturally, we were outfitted in appropriate attire when swimming, boating and camping.  We did that most weekends, weather permitting.  I thought about my children who were listening to this sermon.

Pride played a part in my nervousness, too.  I had finally reached a level of respect and position at First Apostolic Church.  It seemed like it had taken many years to obtain the titles of Children's Pastor, Substitute Choir Director and other musical opportunities.  Was I ready to give up the prestige for the freedom to wear shorts at the lake?

But it was way more than shorts. There was the exclusive doctrine. Apostolics preach that only those who believe and live by the Apostolic doctrine are true Christian believers. That doctrine was wearing thin with me, too. Each time he said "BE Apostolic", I wanted say, "BE Christian!" Shouldn't the focus be on Christ?  Jilly says it very well: "Be passionate, free-thinking disciples of Christ."

That was the last Sunday for me in the Apostolic church.

Gino, if you're reading this post, I want to thank you for boldly and plainly preaching the Apostolic message that day. You showed me just how far it is from the Gospel preached by Christ and his disciples in the Bible. You gave Jill and me the final push we needed to leave the Apostolic church and further develop our relationships with Christ. We have been set free. I sincerely thank you.

God bless,
Dadofmykids

PS.  To my friends who still live the Apostolic way, I love you all.  I know the doctrine, even taught it to some of you and your children.  The doctrine is flawed.  However, this doesn't mean that we can't be friends.  This post is not an invitation to debate.

Gulf Shores Vacation 2011

Blood, sweat and gears. Yep, we've had it all this week. It's been a wonderful week, too.  I want to recap the week for future reviews and give you some ideas if you need them.

Blood:

Playing Crazy Eights

One of the best parts about this week is that our friend, Milissa, and her two boys were with us from Saturday to Thursday. This is idea number one; have someone go on vacation with you. We've done it many times. Having extra friends or family along makes it more interesting, shares kid-watching duties, gives you more time together.

Levi found a "wife beater" (aka, A-shirt) on the beach. It washed up in the tide.  We rinsed it off in the surf and hung it up to dry so we could ask Jilly to wash it for him. Then Bentley, one of Milissa's boys, came up from a wave bleeding. It was a bad nose bleed. Levi's "new" shirt was the only thing handy to put on it. I don't know where the beach towels were.  Ben was ok after a few minutes.

Btw, nose bleeds can be stopped by pinching the nose shut and leaning forward. I've seen a lot of people say to hold your head back.  That just lets the blood run down your throat.

Our Canopy

Sweat:

We tried something new this year by bringing a canopy for shade. In previous vacations, we've rented the chair/umbrella setup. I like the canopy better. It's less expensive and provides more shade. I recommend you don't leave your canopy set up on the beach overnight. We saw some get destroyed by wind.  I weighed it down with sand-filled milk jugs and the bags for our camping chairs. 

Gears:

Levi picked a little battery operated car at a junk store. It quit working so I opened it up and found most of the teeth stripped off one of the drive gears.  I like tinkering with junk like that.  I realized as I sat at the table working on the car, kids were gathered round looking for tools to fix any little thing.

$2.99 Champion

Here's another idea for you, when the kids get board from being entertained on the beach or at the pool, go out for an adventure.  See if you can find any pawn shops, thrift stores or flea markets.  You'll find some interesting junk, and maybe even a few surprises, like this WWE United States Champion belt for $2.99.

Food:

The best food of the week may have been what we cooked on the grill at the condo. You can't beat fresh charcoal. It may sound like work, but sitting around the grill in the evening shade while meat cooks is better than waiting for a table at a busy restaurant.  And you just can't beat the flavor.

Speaking of busy restaurants, the surprise of the week goes to Doc's Seafood Shack. Their food was delicious.  Servers were great.  And the place was clean. I had fried oysters which were light and crispy.  Five stars also goes out to Lillian's Pizza, just over the Florida line. We've been there almost every time we've come to Gulf Shores. Never a disappointment. But this year we got the lunch buffet. What a treat!

We tried beach fishing for the first time.  The key there was to have enough weight on the line to carry your bait past the surf.  It helps to wade out there too. Just don't wade too deep.  Shrimp worked best for us.  Early morning and evening/dusk are the best times for beach fishing.

Mal Mal and KK

On Thursday, my mom and dad arrived with two of my nieces and a nephew.  It was great to see them all.  The last time we were together, I think, was at Rhonda's funeral. 

One of our favorite things about beach vacation is the relaxation. No schedule. No hurry up and wait. Just good memories with family and friends.

What a great week.

God bless,
Dadofmykids